If You Love, You Do Not Only Love
Before I move further, let me ask your ideas first about the title of this article. Maybe you’re now wondering what this article will be about. In other words what are the things I want to tell you and why I am so inspired in writing this.
I don’t want to hide anything from you because I owe you much of your time. I understand how busy you are yet you still find time reading this and sharing my previous blogs. I’m just so blessed having you in my life and let me just thank you for being so supportive.
I always believe that every day is a special day because it is a blessing from above which means we have another day to correct the mistakes of yesterday, make the most of today and strive for the better tomorrow. But..
Today Is A Very Special Day…
Again today isn’t just a special day but A Very Special Day for us because today is our 3rd Year Anniversary. Yes time flies so fast. It’s like only few months ago that we decided to commit to love each other and to live with that commitment day by day. And now for sure you already have an idea why I am so inspired to write because in this article I will share to you the reasons behind the title, “If you love, you do not only love”.
Let me start my explanation. Haha.
Prior to my relationship now, I had a lot of failed ones before. Maybe because that time my focus was really different and somehow I’m not yet that matured back then. Though I’m not saying that I’m fully matured today. With our 3 years of being in a relationship, I realize a lot of things. And I will share them to you now hoping that somehow I can help you in any way. I hope I can.
If You Love You Do Not Only Love
This is a bit confusing right? But when you dig to it deeper you’ll realize that it has a lot to tell. Before, I thought that if I love, I’ll just simply love but in reality it’s not only that. My concept of love before is so general. I forgot to tackle on the practical side. Good thing at one point I came to realize that love is an action word. It’s so easy to say “I love you” but the most satisfying thing to express love is to put it into action. Go beyond verbal words. Act your love out. Make your partner feel by being there not only when he/she needs you. Make an effort to do it consistently. Being consistent will play a magical role to stay in love.
- If you love you also need to listen. Before I thought listening has the same meaning with hearing but I realized they are very different. Hearing is just hearing any words said but listening needs a lot of focus and comprehension. Listening involves emotions and emotions involve the heart. If you really care you need to listen attentively and be willing to offer solutions to any problem. Being a good listener will keep your commitment stronger.
- If you love you also need to be sensitive. You should be sensitive enough to feel the feelings of your partner. For 3 years now I can already tell that my girlfriend has a problem and if she’s happy or not. I can tell that she needs something before she even tells. I can tell that she wants to go to this place or to that.
- If you love you also need to know when to control your ego. Yes I admit just like any other relationship, our relationship had almost ended because of ego. Sometimes if I’m upset and if I knew it’s her fault, I tend to put my ego higher. Sometimes her ego is as high as mine too. At the end of the day we realized that we will gain nothing if we continue to snub each other. After all, our relationship is at stake. Most of the times jealousy caused our troubles but recently it’s not our issue anymore. By the way jealousy has positive and negative implications. You better focus on the positive side for your relationship to work out best.
- If you love you also need to make some activities that will maintain the “spark” of your relationship. Simple things will do like walking or jogging, strolling at the park, watching movies, cooking together, eating together, shopping, video gaming, reading and anything as long as you enjoy it together. The most important thing here are the memories you created. Don’t focus on the material things but on the time that you’re with each other. Find common time that you can do this and set aside other concerns while you’re together. Best advice I can give; no cell phone during these times. This should be a rule except for important calls.
- If you love you need to keep the communication open and transparent. Since we’re officially on, we made a decision to always keep our communication open especially that we started as long distance relationship. By just simply updating your partner where you are and what you’re doing, it will surely build the trust and faith for both of you. Don’t ever lie. Just tell the truth. Once you lie, his/her trust will gradually fade. And you don’t want that right?
- If you love, you have both the responsibility to keep your relationship as discreet as possible. We admit that for our first 2 years our relationship was so public that every time we had time together or we had special celebrations, our friends would expect that our faces were on their Facebook news feed. But for our 3rd year we made a decision to make our relationship as discreet as possible and for us it is also a sign of maturity and we respect our privacy. And it’s working.
- If you love you both have the responsibility to tell your family about your relationship. Yes before I made my decision to court my girlfriend I asked my parent’s permission and informed them about my plan at least they will not be surprised if I tell them after. On the other hand she introduced me to her family and relatives which we believe had very good impact to our relationship.
- If you love you need to look at the big picture. You do not just love for the sake of you having a girlfriend or boyfriend. Your goal should bring him/her to marriage and not a trial and error one. If you focus on the end in mind like businessmen do for their businesses, your actions and decisions will be guided. If you think of doing something unusual you will have to think about it many times. You need to consider your relationship first before your own benefits.
- If you love you need to respect each other. Most likely the reason for failed relationships is the lack of respect. Sometimes we forget to respect our partner especially if we are on “beast mode”. But it shouldn’t end there. Forgiveness is at hand. Learn to forgive and forget. Also respect each other’s views on things. You might have different views but that shouldn’t sacrifice your love with each other. Just be open-minded and always keep in mind that no one is perfect. At the end of the day respect is earned not demanded.
- If you love you have the responsibility to be Jesus to your partner. To become Jesus doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be all-holy and all-mighty. Simple act of kindness will surely do. As much as possible encourage or influence your partner to pray, worship and you go to mass together. Pray for each other too. And you don’t need to master all the verses of the Bible. By being faithful and acting your love out you’re already becoming like Jesus day by day. Just do it sincerely and consistently.
I think these should be enough for today. Sorry for writing this a little longer. Now I know the connection of the heart and brain. Because as you’ll remember I am so inspired to write today because it’s our 3rd Anniversary that’s why I’m writing all these stuffs from the heart and while writing I almost couldn’t stop my brain for throwing out ideas and words of wisdom which I am sharing you here. And thank you for reading until here far. I really appreciate your willingness and commitment to do such.
Before I end, I’d like to share to you one last piece of advice or should I say a realization from our 3 years of relationship;
“If you love, you do not only love. You also receive love.”
It’s like do unto others what do you want them to do to you and the Law of The Farm in the Scriptures is saying that “what you sow is what you reap.” So if you sow love, you will reap love. If you give love, you receive love.
These will be all for today. Thank you for joining our celebration. We’d like to greet you as well if you have any celebration; may it be belated, exactly today or advance.
God bless and more blessings to you!
To your rich future,
Lebert “Futurich” Omac
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